rank schools Article

What Divorce Parenting Practices Is Best Appropriate For
By Ruben Francia, Fri Dec 9th

How do you spare your preschoolers for the negative effects ofdivorce? How do you promote your preschooler's healthy growthand development? The answer is appropriate divorce parentingpractices.

The next question is what appropriate divorce parentingpractices for preschooler really means? Let's keep thingssimple. All you need to know is learn how divorce affect yourchildren. Knowing how preschoolers react to divorce will bringyou to a better position of knowing the best appropriate divorceparenting practices you can give for your child.

So let's get started. How is preschoolers affected by divorce?Preschoolers commonly experience regression during parents'divorce. Children whose parents are in conflict regress tothumb-sucking, bed-wetting and other behaviors their parentsassume they've outgrown.

Children at this developmental stage may think they areresponsible for their parents' divorce or for their parents notliving together. As a corollary to the perception that theirmisbehavior caused the divorce or caused a separation, preschoolchildren often believe that if they are really good, everythingwill be okay again. This can be an incredibly stressfulperception for a little kid, because he or she begins to carryon his or her shoulders the burden of getting mom and dad backtogether again.

Preschoolers may be confused, have fantasizes aboutreconciliation, and show difficulties in expressing theirfeelings. Their sense of security is affected by predictable andconsistent routines.

Preschoolers may fear being left alone or abandoned altogetherand may worry about the changes in their daily lives. They maydeny that anything has changed, or they may becomeuncooperative, depressed, or angry. Although they want thesecurity of being near an adult, they may act disobedient andaggressive.

Preschoolers exhibit signs of sadness and grieving because ofthe absence of one parent. Preschoolers may be aggressive andangry toward the parent they blame.

Now that you know how preschoolers react to divorce, I'm sure alot of ideas come to your mind on what divorce parentingpractices is best appropriate for preschoolers. To add up toyour list of ideas, here below are some of the things you shoulddo to help your preschoolers adjust to divorce.

· Repeatedly tell children that they are not responsible for thedivorce. Children need to be reassured that the breakup wasn'ttheir fault.

· Discourage reconciliation fantasies. Avoid dinners, outings,or holiday celebrations with your ex-spouse; they only fuel yourchild's fantasies. Instead, emphasize the finality of divorce

· Keep daily routines intact. Children feel more secure whenthere is a standard routine. Stick with bedtimes, no matter atwhich home the children are. Have some consistent chores. Havesome time committed to the child, which is treated as sacred.

· Reassure children that everything will be ok, just different.Children are invariably frightened and confused by divorce. It'sa threat to their security.

Provide extra hugs and kisses andtell your child that you and other adults will always be near tolove and protect

· Explain what is happening over and over again. Children thisage are confused easily. In simple terms, explain where yourchild will live, with whom, where the departing parent willlive, and who will provide care when both parents areunavailable.

· Encourage your child to talk about how he/she feels. Besensitive to children's fears. Let your child know that he orshe can openly talk to you about the ups and downs of yourseparation or divorce.

· Encourage the child to carry photographs and other keepsakesof the custodial parent when he or she leaves home to visit withthe non-custodial parent. Conversely, encourage the child tokeep a photograph of his or her non-custodial parent in avisible place at home.

· Be sensitive to children signs of depression and fear. Seekprofessional help if depression is prolonged or intense.

· Help non-custodial parent stay involve. Let non-custodialparent maintain a regular presence such as a phone call severaltimes each week, messages sent on video or audiotapes.

· Plan a schedule of time for children to spend with their otherparent. Be supportive of children's ongoing relationship withthe other parent. Remember that children generally fare bestwhen they have the emotional support and ongoing involvement ofboth parents. If you have difficulty relating to your formerspouse then get your free copy of my ebook "8 Essential Steps toCooperative Parenting and Divorce." Just visit my website andget the said ebook for free.

You can learn more divorce parenting practices appropriate forchildren of any age in my ebook "101 Ways To Raise 'Divorced'Children to Successfully." This ebook is a divorce parentingguide that offers many proven ways that will not only help youhelp your children but will also guide you on how to deal withyourself and your former ex-spouse for your children's sake.Thus, giving you complete information on how to raise healthy,happy and successful children even if you're divorced. For moreinformation, please visit my website.

With the above information, I hope you will become an empowereddivorced parent and believe that you can raise healthy, happyand successful children even if you're divorce.

Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.

Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this articleelectronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, freeof charge, as long as the author's information and web link areincluded at the bottom of the article. The web link should beactive when the article is reprinted on a web site or in anemail. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long asthey do not distort or change the content of the article.

About the author:Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parentingguide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced'Children To Success". Get his other ebook for FREE, "8 EssentialSteps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Visit his web siteat http://www.101divorceparenting.com